Possibly the last miles I will run before the marathon - what the eff am I thinking? So many emotions right now - so please excuse me if I get a bit emo here.
Between getting sick and the IT band and the taper...I feel like my thoughts are all over the place and running helps me think, so when running lets me down or more accurately my body starts to act (gasp) human , I get bummed out.
Prior to my IT band issues all the pain I incurred from running was simple and manageable. Sidesstitch? Slow down - ease up on the pace. Tightness? Stretch! Dry mouth? Drink water etc. etc.
Now that I have to baby my leg, roll on it, stretch it, and be conscious of what I'm doing, I can't just run without care.
It's very humbling, it's scary on many levels. It's a reminder of my mortality, a reminder of just how fragile we are. If I were in a more positive frame of mind I could say that it's also a reminder of how strong our bodies are but right now I'm scared and overanalzying.
Well - the endorphins have kicked in and I'm feeling a little bit better.
The first mile was tough, I tried to slow down - but my regular pace has sped up now so I guess that's a good thing? I kept forcing myself to look at the watch and take it down a notch but no negative splits.
After the 2nd mile I told myself to go home, and began to run back dejected then I told myself do one more - and I felt my legs 'warm up' a bit, and thought back to my 23 mile run.
If I gave up now - would that all be in vain?
So the third mile I said "just enjoy it"..and I did. I felt the wind instead of my ache, felt the sun instead of my fear, felt warmth instead of cold.
I think I can do this...
291 miles of training so far, I can't stop now!